Over the past fews months I've actually been pretty busy with live briefs, so much so a heck-of-a-lot of my work for Extended Practice so far have been live briefs as I don't really have the time to focus on self initiated things right now. I've been lucky however, in the fact that a lot of the briefs I've been doing have given me a lot of creative freedom and room for play, so none of them have really felt restrictive, or like they're a burden on my creative soul. I get to work with really great people right now. That's pretty super.
HOWEVER all this fun stuff has come at a cost. In complete honesty I've been neglecting COP a lot more than I ever should have. I've been working on it every week, but I've been prioritizing my Extended Practice work as it's something that I really enjoy. I'm on this course because I love to make images, not because I enjoy writing analytical and cold academic essays and dissertations about theorists that I don't particularly care for. COP has been the black cloud over my soul for weeks now. And the thought of having to bring in aspects of theory that don't interest me just so my dissertation can tick enough boxes to be academically researched feels so much like grade chasing. I've lost the heart for COP which is sad. Last year it was one of the modules I enjoyed the most, but the thorough academic rigour I've had to go through for this essay has slowly eroded that initial excitement away. It's a little heartbreaking that me and COP have ended up like this. We used to get along so well, now our relationship just feels like something I have to get through.
It's frustrating too, that the more extended practice I do and the more people I meet, the more I feel like I'm growing into a professional practitioner. I've started extending my contacts and network which is in turn getting me more work. But I feel bad about doing it because I know I should be doing COP.
Me looking at my COP blog
This entire situation has had me thinking about myself and my practice for quite a while. I know leaving this course I have no interest whatsoever in pursuing a Masters or similar qualification. While essay writing was kind of fun, dissertation writing is sucking the creative soul out of my body.
I guess in the end it's just made me excited to leave and get on with doing this full time. I absolutely love it at LCA but I feel like I'm chewing at my leash to be free! Illustration and communication is what excites me and makes me feel happy, not the necessary written element I know I need to have in order to get a good grade. I'm excited to make work all the time, and to wave my dear friend COP goodbye.
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